Open relationship ruined my marriage reddit At 23, I started my first career job. 2. This sub-reddit is intended to caution people of the hazards of seeking to open their marriage or other long term relationship, and to advise users that have been pressured into such. I know that the same person he fell in love with is the same person I am today, and that through recognizing my issues and genuinely wanting to correct them, I can't go wrong. It was very low paying, but there I think it’s better to say that having kids will test a marriage rather than ruin it. I [24] thoughtlessly ruined my marriage to ‘broaden my horizons’ and ‘take advantage of my youth’— Only to end up regretting it. She said “I want an open marriage. I'm not looking for pity or understanding here. Share Sort by: Best Open comment sort options Best Top New Controversial Old Q&A [deleted] • No, K ruined her own marriage by lying to you. Even if I don't get a response, I just want to get it off my chest. MembersOnline • [deleted] MOD My anger issues went so unresolved and so ignored that I ruined the best relationship I've ever had with an amazing person. I didn’t mean to cheat so I felt guilty and agreed. So i had 100% trust for him, long story short he changed my whole perspective on my husband and i had no reason to doubt him because i didn’t think he was looking for anything here. I think it's usually just safer to have some openness. It’s easy to be happy when things are easy and simple, kids are anything but. I want him to know that, too. Married for 7 now. We’ve been together for 7 years in total and we got married when I turned 20 so we’ve been married for 5 years. I worked from home a very stressful job during the pandemic - which forced me to spend most of my freetime working because it essentially required a bunch of homework that I could never get done during work hours because I was at the mercy of 20 other people's schedules and would get continuously calendar bombed with meetings I wasn’t there for my ex like I should’ve been. But my girlfriend is just happy to have leftover or frozen pizza for all she cares. We argued a lot and I ended up telling her that her life would be harder without My wife and I have known each other for 13 years. Many people are sexually curious, and if you leave space to explore that curiosity, then it dials back the odds that a partner will lie and cheat just to satisfy that curiosity. This was my maiden reddit post. Three years ago, I “cheated” on her with a ex close friend and she told me that she wanted a open marriage. It doesn't work when you mistake it for couples' therapy, I've met someone in an open relationship and it honestly works for them, but most people try the open relationship when there are problems in a couple. I (32M) have slowly been infecting my relationship with my wife (30F) with my internal issues that I have put off dealing with for years. My (31F) husband (36M) have been married for 3 years, together for 6. I would stash empty wine boxes in my closet to hide how much I was drinking from my fiancé. ” I’m here to get some advice, insight on poly/open marriage, what could my wife be really thinking and future question to ask her as we will be having many more long discussions. She expects these grand acts of romance all the time and can’t even see the little things I do for her everyday. In forums like Reddit’s r/polyamory and confessionals across Medium and TikTok, people are beginning to share their polyamory exit stories—a new phase of visibility for a movement that once promised boundless love and emotional liberation. Original Post Oct 9, 2015 Background My wife (35/F) and I (33/M) have been together for 10 years and have 5 kids together. I always liked the lean, slender look, but my genetics had other ideas. Reply reply Jul 20, 2018 · An open marriage filled my relationship with Eric with painful elements that we didn't want to spend the rest of our life together rehashing. So even though things went the way they did, I'd be an idiot to claim that being open ruined my marriage. This isn’t a huge factor for why my marriage ended, but this is just me taking accountability for any possible role I could’ve played. Dec 24, 2024 · Facing open marriage regrets? Discover my personal story of open marriage regret and the lessons I learned the hard way. She’s getting close to 2 now and she has destroyed our marriage. I’ve (32F) been having problems with emotional regulation and low self esteem for years but it’s been BAD the last couple of years. Me (25m) and my wife (35F) are currently in a open marriage. We decided to open up our relationship last year to spice up our bedroom life. Reply reply [deleted] • Comment deleted by user Reply reply Minute-Tale7444 • No, feminism hasn’t destroyed relationships with people who view us as an equal. He’s now wanting to stop everything and go back to being monogamous. Having open convos with my partner. Instead of providing constructive guidance, I was met with judgment and criticism. I ruined My Marriage How Can I Fix it? [ 12 Vital Tips ] by RHB Every couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. This sub-reddit is intended to caution people of the hazards of seeking to open their marriage or other long term relationship, and to advise users that have been pressured into such. Our relationship has been on a steady decline for years before the diagnosis but I feel now that he had an official one, he blames everything on it. I hate myself for it and hopefully I can start working towards a better me and a better partner for someone in the future. Just ruined my second relationship. It's effectively, cheating with permission. About 3 years into our marriage she started to show attraction to Asian characters in the shows and movies we watched together on our weekly movie nights. I feel like I’m just going through the motions in life because I can’t connect with my partner. Besides that, I wanted to get this off my chest for a long time, because I think people need to see the other side, and, excepting the people involved, I don’t really talk about this to anyone, not My wife suggested an open marriage and while I was hesitant, I soon found a FWB and realized that by having regular (great) sex with someone else, I was actually kinder, more affectionate and loving with my wife. For the sheer sake of your marriage's sexual health (you absolutely deserve to be treated well sexually and even though you may think sex isn't important for you), it is vital to human existence and a healthy relationship. On the plus side I've remained open/poly and my main relationships today are so much better for me (not that said prior relationship was a bad one, just things are better today). I thought I might grow into the father role but I didn’t. Not to mention, open relationship imo doesn't auto equate to polyamory. MembersOnline • Frosty-Panda I have never posted on Reddit, but often read real life struggles that I have been able to relate with. There is more to relationships than sex and once your partner feels they’re secure in the marriage without sex maybe it’ll help? I could be wrong I just know that’s what helped me. She is the love of my life and I could not imagine myself with anyone else. I was at the lowest point I This means, I have made amazing progress in my healing (from childhood abuse and letting go of my past relationship). trueSo my wife (34 F) and I (35M) have been married for 8 years now, and we have a 7 year old boy. The relationships where the guy says the wife puts out 1 time a year, exaggeration example, translates to he's a wham bam man. She Wanted Open Marriage I said OIK and did thisThis video unpacks a dramatic relationship story that spirals into an engagement breakup after a suggestion o My wife and I have been together for 10 years, married for 8, and now have 2 small kids together. OP's open marriage is now fully falling apart due to her husband's girlfriend Original post Add a Comment Jan 8, 2012 · My wife was suggesting a polyamorous relationship and even suggested having this guy move into our house and she would have both of us (and our kids) in the same home. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. My libido disappeared after our youngest was born 6 years ago. Some preface: Without going into to much details me and my partner of 2 years have been curious about and discussing opening up our relationship. I started drinking in my car on my lunch breaks. My wife and I decided to open our relationship after 15 years together. I broke my marriage. I dread having to come home and take care of her. this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. We’re working on it…but I can’t 854 votes, 275 comments. In my case it was 26 previous partners, in the case of this friend's husband the number was a whooping 70. The percentage of people who can make an open relationship work is so incredibly small I would not risk my marriage for whatever probably minor and temporary increase in happiness you might experience in getting some strange. But the road to a blissful home is not easy to build, though the aim can be achieved. Things weren't any different than with the first 2. My husband was supportive of me and helped with all of the kids. MembersOnline • SoSorry215 Jan 8, 2024 · A wife broke the rules of her open marriage, and with divorce on the line, her husband asked Reddit's AITA forum for advice. To which she is half right. In my friends group the only people who blame kids for “ruining their marriage/relationship are people who never had good/strong marriages to begin with. We will get through this together. I’ve ruined my marriage being mean to my husband. She doom scrolls instagram constantly and she sees all of the cute post where couples only post the 1% best parts of their relationship and she’s pissed off that our lives aren’t like that. I recognize that these issues do not define me. My mom is saying that I’m going to ruin my marriage if I didn’t stop my husband from having an affair. I know I'm not getting it. I (32) have lost my (35) husband of 3 years (a 12 years relationship). Apparently the same thing was going to happen to Mirela if she was not careful about me. Here's the lesson that is both hard and comforting that I have learned so, so very clearly through several relationships: You should be with people who want what you want. Wrong sub to post this maybe? I'm just hoping to get parents perspectives from this and not just relationship advise. Here's your reality check, you need to work on yourself and your marriage before you involve yourself in other relationships. Very long read warning. Today is the worst day of my life, and have no friends I can share my pain with. Well, my boyfriend and I have been in an open relationship for 4 years, my boyfriend never wanted to explore so only I go out with other people, before we started we created some boundaries that in no case should be broken, we did so that he can see that he is my first an only, the boundaries would be that he has the power of We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I’m really to love someone again, to go in with open mind and heart. How do I fix this? Tl;Dr I fucked up my marriage. She said I wasn't pulling my weight with childcare and chores but at the same time she expected me to know what to do without her telling me. I think you need to have a talk with your wife about how she disrupted the marriage - and that you’re willing to work with her if she’s open to change and have more physical intimacy. In your situation, I think it's important to be upfront and honest with your husband about how you're feeling so he can make an informed decision about whether or not he really wants to stay in the I suggested trying an open relationship and at first he was quite excited by the idea but as time went on he became more anxious and less happy about the whole thing. Once this divorce is final, I'll hopefully never have to post anything on reddit ever again and i'll delete this account. 660 votes, 171 comments. I don't even know where to begin. Now I have to make my decision. What helped me is that although in an open relationship, my bf paused any pursuit of others. Im going to refer to him as "X" going forward. I have plenty of happy relationships in my life. As a couples therapist who has helped thousands of couples bring their relationship back from the brink, take it from me… There is hope for your relationship. I’m still in love with my spouse [26] and spend every second wanting my old life back. I think fully open relationships where one or both partners can have full-on second relationships with others are absolute minefields, but obviously can work. He talked about My wife and I had our first daughter last year. However now I found out the my boyfriend is first off, sleeping with way more people than I am. ️ Reply reply WitnessRoyal6706 • Thank you! ️ Reply reply More replies usernotfoundplstry • Me (25m) and my wife (35F) are currently in a open marriage. This community is for those who seek support and discussion for their open marriage. My husband’s brother went into a rage because I wouldn’t give him a ride and he tried to beat me up. I have attachment issues and major anxiety among other things that all stem from this. It's honestly fine that the wife wanted an open marriage but when the husband clearly stated that he would not be fine with it the wife should just have made the decision to either leave or be fine with a closed marriage. I (44F) have been married to my husband (43M) for 15 years. I don't know why. Know that every marriage goes through its ups and downs. Here I am 5 years later - I’m miserable because my wife doesn’t seem to have any desire to have sex. This of course has led my wife to believe that I don't care about our relationship or myself. I see the same thing online too. There are a lot of questions like these you could ask. Im at a loss and need help. Share Add a Comment Sort by: Top Open comment sort My libido was non existent and sex felt like a chore. Mar 24, 2025 · As more people explore ethical non-monogamy, another trend is quietly gaining momentum: polyamory burnout. So will you! Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I (24F) had an open relationship with my BF (28M) for 3 years and it suddenly blew up. by Sep 13, 2018 · Not all marriages end for the same reasons, some divorced people to get a sense of what ruined their relationship. I think it’s better to say that having kids will test a marriage rather than ruin it. She basically just started dating another dude. May 31, 2024 · The following list of dos and don’ts for how to fix a relationship you “ruined” isn’t theoretical. I (29F) ruined my marriage with my husband (30M). Me and my partner have tried open relationship, fell in love, tried poly, other person realised she was monogamous, closed the relationship to work through that experience and now we're stuck. This is a long post, but I will do my best to stick to the points. We started out as a strictly monogamous relationship but as time went on she made passing comments indicating she would be interested in an open relationship and each of us having the freedom to play with others. I want to stop and say that I had nobody in mind when I thought this up. My goodness OP, you never read about this outcome occurring when a marriage becomes open? This caught you out of the blue that your husband might grow to resent you and your marriage? I hope you can put the toothpaste back in the tube. Me and my ex-wife have a 14 month old son. Thanks for everyone's kind words and advice. I think though that every relationship is different. I come from an abusive and broken home which has caused all kinds of anxiety and depression issues throughout my life. There are a lot of reasons some people might open up their marriage. But the other side of it is that it will put a magnifying glass on the cracks and weak points of a relationship as well. Poly relationship is a permanent partner in the relationship, they all know and love each other. The jist of swinging is that it is for strong relationships that have good communicators. All because I chose alcohol over them. I created another account because my boyfriend knows my main one. Is my mental health ruining my relationship? I’ve lived with a history of anxiety and depression for many years, but recently it seems to have flared up very aggressively. So armed with this knowledge I made the horrible mistake of believing that he would be excited by the suggest that we open our marriage. He'll be ok - even better, in fact, because he now has the chance to be with people who want what he wants. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. We have three kids. I was/am very selfish when it comes to alcohol. I broke his heart 7 years ago, my now husband and I were on again, off again trying to maintain a long distance relationship. It was bad. #redditrelationship #redditupdate -------------------------------------♪ Tears (Prod. Even from a young age I was always filled out. I completely understand and honestly I never thought I'd even consider this an option but I really want to try it. X and I ended up getting back together soon after that, and we too slept together within a week time frame. My ex-wife was really great at sex. This is all spun in your head, and you're going to ruin your marriage over feelings you should have has a bridle on. Can having kids completely ruin a marriage? Archived post. Why it epically failed and led to divorce. We own our home, have 2 dogs, both work full time and travel when we can. I always had big boobs. I am angry a lot of the time because I feel robbed of the past 5 years. Sex life was also very boring. So how should I bring up an open relationship between us without breaking apart the marriage, as cheating is a hardline for him as he was cheated on in the past. I am wondering if that's what my wife felt as well when she got tired of her hook ups. Once my husband accepted my new normal due to mecfs and began to understand that it was also frustrating for ME that I couldn't do as much as I used to, our relationship "magically" changed. This was almost the future of my marriage but they really showed their ass. This is the reality of your marriage and you married this man knowing and experiencinghis size. I don’t even think I’m attracted to her any more. It's really easy as part of my codependent style to cut ties and shun relationshipsseeing the problem as arising from them and the relationship as opposed to me, throwing away a great opportunity for growth if I'd worked on my issues and we'd worked together on broken down communication. I (41m) asked my wife (39f) about open marriage and now she is different with me We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Now she wants to close it up again. Jan 3, 2024 · Unfortunately, the advice I received on Reddit turned out to be detrimental to my marriage. My entire life revolved around alcohol and my drinking cost me jobs, friendships, and almost cost me my current relationship. I was also comparing myself to the poly couple and berating myself for feeling jealous about my gf having sex with others. This article reveals their stories about what went wrong in their marriage. It’s the wisdom I use to help couples every day. Please stick with me because I truly need kind and honest advice. Share Add a Comment Sort by: Top Open comment sort options Top justalittleintense •. He whenever everyone gets older they don’t want to have sex much anymore and just switched the subject. I hate being a dad. Many times, talking to the wife yields a whole other picture of a lazy lover husband. His depression, lack of sex drive, lack of interest, even telling me to paraphrase, "the reason he's lost affections for me was because I stopped being shine and new So did you two get married with the understanding that it was an open relationship where she could live out her bisexual side, or dud she commit to a heterosexual marriage, although bi? Life is about choices. He thinks that I’m “prioritizing my boyfriend over our relationship and family and that’s not what an open marriage is about”. We set a couple of rules, to not bring a partner at home, try not to form an My (34F) husband (33M) is struggling both with jealousy and lack of action in our open marriage, desperately need advice. A place to get personal things off your chest. I would drink on my commute home from work everyday. The ones about cheating partners have undoubtedly been the worst and have caused her to look for "signs" of me cheating. relationship_advice Original (deleted) About seven hours ago, my wife said to me five words that I believe has set us on a path for divorce. There's likely a correlation, but that does not imply causation. Your husband is not in favor of it and it will only make him feel like less of a man. It is meant to enhance an already fulfilling relationship. And the biggest slap in the faces is a lot of these girls are from the same high school we went to. He did not pressure me for sex and we averaged once a month until the baby was 2 then he wanted more. I F20 got advice from poly people that to solve my, back then mono, relationship's problems, I should just turn poly with… A lot of relationships/marriage end after opening up for this exact reason - poly tends to highlight all the existing cracks in the relationship. Mar 16, 2021 · One woman and her husband tried an open marriage to fix their unhappy marriage. Need advice from those who have forgiven their SO for their neglect. I never had any bad sexual experience with her. Share Add a Comment Sort by: Top Open comment sort trueAn open relationship is going to ruin your marriage. I’m now starting to see it impact my relationship. Our marriage (other than sleeping together) was dramatically better. Opening a monogamous relationship often leads to disaster: a literal FAFO situation. I (29F) have always been on the thicker side. Thanks in advance for reading and being my virtual venting carcus. Open relationship is where permanent partners are free to sleep with whom they want, following rules set forth by both partners. A few years ago I feel like our relationship started going downhill. If you open up your marriage, I cannot believe that it will help. Open relationship is you can sleep with other people due to dead bedroom, which is what she mentioned here. In the interest of compersion, she encouraged me to go out and explore other facets of my sexuality, while she explored relationships with partners who more closely aligned with her interests and hobbies. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. Update: My wife [37F] and I [39M] entered into an open marriage at her request. It hurt me a little bit when she brought up the topic, but I agreed because I loved my boy, and still loved her. I was sick of it. I finally got fed up about this, I was honest and I told him that this is ruining my self esteem and making me insecure about myself and my age, and he didn’t even care. We could agree on that. You've put your husband thru hell here. I never wanted to have an open relationship in the first place but in my mind it was either say yes or lose her. For me, if he ends up having an affair there’s nothing worth saving : r/Marriage Wife Regrets Listening to ‘Empowering’ Advice to OPEN their Marriage. I feel overwhelmed by pretty much everything and my go-to response is anger. It's important to be honest with yourself about how you feel, and if you aren't satisfied with certain aspects of your marriage (sex life, diet, lifestyle, etc), it is good to be open and honest about it. Most people would say I deserved what was coming to me, and I agree. I am kind of in shock and disbelief at the moment and I'm not sure what I should I be feeling. You married him indicating that you were willing to accept and work on this. I wouldn't necessarily say that swinging itself ruins marriages, but that often when open marriages fail there are other issues in the relationship itself. My girlfriend is pretty much only interested in sex at the moment, and we don't have much of a relationship apart from sleeping together, and it's starting to get tiresome. Things with my girlfriend became bland way too soon. This thread is partly prompted by the recent influx of posts in TOMC about cheating and people declaring/wanting poly relationships, apparently without the maturity to be in any kind relationship. Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. We have grown a lot together and have really worked at having strong communication, we typically rather hang out with each other than anything else. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage So, my husband was diagnosed (dx) officially with ADHD right before covid hit. Jan 31, 2024 · A man on Reddit found support after his wife wanted to change the rules of their open marriage, leading him to look into a divorce. If you are ok May 31, 2024 · The following list of dos and don’ts for how to fix a relationship you “ruined” isn’t theoretical. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. People questioned the validity of open marriage and labeled it as a recipe for disaster. Couples therapy can be very helpful. I now have major resentment towards my mom and no relationship whatsoever with my father. Mar 1, 2024 · A woman on Reddit is wondering if an open marriage might fix her relationship, but Reddit thinks the issues go deeper. We've had an open relationship from the get go and they had a partner (albeit their relationship was more platonic with some cuddling and kissing rather than romantic one at the time) As the title states. I wasn’t big into having kids but my wife did so I gave in. We treat each other more like roommates. I wish you and your husband good luck. It does, however, destroy relationships with anybody who sees us like an object or “less” than men. After he was born our marriage fell apart. During one of our longer "off again" times, I slept with someone else during a one night stand situation. Any misogynist I’ve had the displeasure of dealing with has been completely cut out of my life. My (32M) wife Sarah (33F) has become addicted to reddit, specifically dramatic stories about failing relationships, family problems, and infidelity. Because of him i developed trust issues for my husband and ultimately, with the therapist’s advice i took a break from my relationship. Some we regret, some we are proud of - and some will haunt us forever. My wife would always have a home cooked meal ready for me. Well, as soon as they got married, he demanded an open relationship from his wife, and she has been miserable ever since. I honestly love being married and we have built a strong relationship. About 3 years ago, I had a nervous breakdown. 9K votes, 444 comments. After that marriage, I really had to take the time to learn to be more empathetic, caring, and to listen more. And 2x a week? T f I can barely make time to see my friends once a week and still spend time with my partner. And the biggest slap of em all that my boyfriend is now in love with open relationship concept and I really want to back to monogmy. Need advice on how to fix the damage or is it completely destroyed? Edit:additional info: together total 10 yeads We dated for 2 years broke up at 1 yr after the cheating, took a break for 6 months got back together, worked things out. I've had lots of problems with self love We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. A couple of years prior, I'd (finally) come out as bisexual after having been deeply closeted. bjfac pog kdifv jxyhmcy hehh fdgkj kktm wmsl ytzzwu zohsf tgbkqi iolht nyft hyr yveb